As much as I hate to admit it, it was this Justin Bieber parody that put me on to the SteelSeries Siberia headset. In the YouTube comments someone was like “DUDE WHAT HEADPHONES IS HE WEARING” and someone else was like “steelseries siberia bro” and I looked at them and I was like “dang those are pretty baller!” (because, like I said, I’m a butthole now.)

Aesthetics mean a lot to me, because after all the audiophiles everywhere were like “Don’t get a gaming headset, it’s a waste of money, get some good Sennheisers and a clip-on microphone!” I just brushed these people off (the people that own $2000 headphones made of exotic wood to authentically recreate the soundstage of London’s Royal Albert Hall, and $2000 amps, pffft, what the heck do they know) and bought me some freakin’ SteelSeries Siberia v2′s.

Well, believe you me, when you go from a pair of 15 dollar speakers on sticks with foam glued to the edges, the Siberias are heavenly, but there’s always a downside in that apparently my head is ginormous, or my ears are freakishly low on my head, because this headset barely fits. I stretch the thing to its limits.

But now whenever I see someone wearing a pair of SteelSeries Siberias and the headband has a lot of slack, I know “That dude has a tiny head.”

Oh yeah, they sound pretty good too.

But here’s the problem. I’m still working my way through its decidedly 33-hour tutorial and I’ve realized that, while making the experience smooth to ease into (or possibly easy to smooth into), I now have no reason to buy their sixty dollar game because I will never replay it from the beginning.

When it takes five hours to get to the part of the game where you can do something besides run forward into battle and select Auto-battle, never will I have the patience to sit through that again knowing that I could be experiencing the excitement of switching paradigms AND selecting Auto-battle.

I’d also like to mention that I had Listerine in my mouth for the entire duration of writing this post.

I’ve played this game raw. I’ve bugged the heck out of all of my friends because I wouldn’t quit talking about it. To put it succinctly, I went full retard over Starcraft 2. I’m still not very good at it, but since I feel that if I mention Starcraft 2 to any of my friends one more time, no jury would find them guilty of murder, I turn to you, my blog, to talk about Starcraft 2.

I mostly play 2v2 because I’m not good and I want to be able to blame my teammate for my failures. Never openly, only privately. I’m not that big of a jerk. Anyway, currently, I’m in the silver league of ranked 2v2.

Tonight, the scene was set: 2v2 Lost Temple, Protoss & Protoss (my team) vs. Terran & Protoss.

I can’t remember what happened, really.

At one point, things were starting to look bad when both opponents marched into my natural with Marines and Marauders (M&M), Tanks, Stalkers, Zealots, Immortals… the works. I held them off briefly with some Colossi on the cliff, but the Tanks sieged and took out one of my Colossi, forcing me to back the other(s) off.

With the help of my teammate, we took care of the threat. I don’t remember how. I slipped a couple of Void Rays into the back of Protoss where he had neglected to set up Photon Cannons and took out his main Nexus without a fight, shortly after which myself and my teammate strolled into Terran’s natural and made it a smoldering wreck, followed by my three Colossi cliffwalking into the side of his main while the rest of our force walked in the choke. Waste was laid.

Somewhere along the line we wiped out both opponents’ mains, but it wasn’t over yet. Scouting around with Void Rays and Phoenixes, we found that Terran had moved to the southeast island, where he had set up like a gazillion Missile Turrets. Sending our handful of Void Rays in now would be suicide.

So we quick teched to Carriers and started pumping them out. This game went on about ten minutes longer than it should have because it’s really difficult to take on forty Missile Turrets.

He kept saying “lulz” and childish internetness like that while he was at it, while occasionally tossing Vikings out, which were quickly decimated by our Carriers. It took a while, but we punched a hole through with a combination of Motherships, Carriers, and Void Rays, while my ally slipped a Warp Prism in and started warping in Zealots and Stalkers.

But he still wouldn’t give up.

We focused our fire on his Command Center and he put all of his SCVs on it to repair, and apparently Carriers make Command Centers a priority over SCVs, so we had to focus each individual SCV before we could actually kill the Command Center. Only then did he finally say gg and leave, giving us our hard earned victory.

I’ve just realized that somewhere in here, I mixed up two different games. I played two 2v2 Lost Temple matches today, one of which I lost miserably, the other I won. So you really have no idea if you can believe me, now, do you? I’ll leave you with that.